The Origin of Envy
by MusicalsAndAnime
Summary: A collection of short stories on Envy's feelings and actions during his own life, death and homunculus life. Rated for: violence and very mild language. Warnings: contains spoilers for the first/2003 anime, including Conqueror of Shamballa and may be a slight AU (depending on the reader's interpretation). Note: I don't own FMA.
1. Chapter 1: Childhood

"Mummy, daddy?"  
A small child, who could not possibly be more than three stood in the doorway to his bedroom, too scared to leave and too scared to stay alone.  
"What is it William?" Asked the female voice, belonging to his mother.  
"I... had a nightmare." He said with tears in his eyes.  
"And?" Asked his father.  
"I hoped that one of you could tell me a story..." He waited for a response, but receiving none, he added "or sit with me until I fall asleep."  
Angrily his father replied: "No William, you are old enough to manage by yourself, go back to sleep!"  
So William went back into his room and did his best to get back to sleep by himself.

"Mummy?"  
A small, blonde boy of about five stood in the doorway to a dimly lit room where his mother sat studying from a large book.  
"What is it William?" The woman said, rather unkindly without looking up from her work.  
"I-I found this and I thought you would like it..." He said, holding out a small, pink flower.  
The woman still did not look up from the book, so he moved a little closer.  
"My friend said that you should give your mother flowers to..."  
But then she cut him off saying: "William, I am busy, go away."  
He moved closer to her desk and left the flower for her, then left quickly.  
After a few hours more of studying the woman finally noticed the flower, which by this time, had lost much of its beauty. "Is this what William was ranting about?" She then discarded the small flower into a bin she had for useless notes. "Hm, foolish child."

A boy of about seven years old enters a dimly lit room where his father is studying various transmutation circles.  
"Dad!" The boy said, nervous, but also a little excited.  
The older man then replied: "What is it William?"  
"Look what I made!" He said holding out a rather well made cute, small bird made of wood.  
The man ignored him.  
"I made it for you." He said moving a little closer to his father's desk.  
His father still did not look up, "Move out of the way William, you are blocking my light!"  
"But daddy, I made it using alchemy, don't you want to see?" He said, sadly now, moving closer again.  
This gained his father's interest "Alchemy? Well, let me see..." He examined the bird for a moment and then said: "Well, what is so impressive about this?"  
With this William ran from the room, leaving the toy bird behind but his father didn't even notice.

As he was leaving all he could think of was his father's last words to him, the child had worked on it for a long time to make sure that it was perfect; it had been his first try at alchemy and he had done quite well. After this he would try more alchemy, always trying to gain his parents' love and attention, like the other children he knew had, but all they ever did was ignore his attempts, or even worse, find any small flaw and point it out, ruthlessly.


	2. Chapter 2: Plans

Lately things had been very strange... William noticed that his parents had been acting gentler, even looking at his various attempts at alchemy and other interests, which neither of them had ever bothered with before. He spent a considerable while wondering what could have possibly caused this change, but eventually, after worrying for weeks, he decided that they simply must have found what they had been searching for, for so many years.

Unfortunately for him, they HAD. What he didn't realise was that they had been searching for was the pathway to make someone truly immortal, so that they wouldn't have to keep swapping bodies every few hundred years. The only problem was that they needed someone to test it on; of course they couldn't use themselves, what if it didn't work...

There was only one other person that was available... To make sure that he would follow their orders, they started manipulating William, by making him feel loved and wanted.

It was all an act though.

A few weeks later, a few days before his eighteenth birthday (not that his parents cared of course) they decided that the time was right to tell him of the plan. So when he came downstairs that morning they were ready to "explain" their idea to him...

"There is a liquid known as Mercury, according to old ideas in alchemy Mercury was the path to eternal life..."  
"Yes," William said, slightly annoyed "I studied that book too; but it is now known that Mercury is a poison."  
"Well, your father and I have discovered that under certain circumstances that is not true."  
"And?" Asked William, not really sure where this conversation was heading.  
"You know that your mother and I are able to stay alive forever, right. Well, by drinking this" his father said, indicating a small bottle with a silvery liquid inside "you will be able to live with us forever."

William was shocked at this statement; his parents had never shown any desire to have him around longer than the lifespan of a normal human, in fact many times in the past it had seemed... No! That couldn't be right, in the last few weeks they had proved that they did love him, it must have just been because they were busy. But still, what if something went wrong? He had studied the horrible symptoms and effects of Mercury poisoning, and had sworn to himself that he would never work with it.


	3. Chapter 3: Decided

Finally he decided: "Mother, father I love you both very much, but I can't..."  
Suddenly his mother was begging him, "Please William, we have already had to watch so many of your brothers and sisters leave this world, please don't leave us too."  
"But I'm not sick, why couldn't it wait, at least let me have a few more days to think about it?"  
His father then tried reasoning with him, "William, many of your brothers and sisters from long ago were in accidents, it often has nothing to do with illnesses."  
His mother was in tears now: "Please!"

Finally, seeing how sad and concerned they were William thought that they must really be worried about him, he replied: "Alright, mother, father if you are sure that this will make you happy, then I will drink it. When will it be ready?"  
"It is ready now; all you have to do is drink everything in this bottle." His father said, anxious for the experiment to get under way.

So, William took the small bottle from his father's hands, and trembling, pulled the lid off and drank the horrible liquid. It tasted horrible, and it burned, but he was doing it for his parents and he knew (or hoped) that they wouldn't deceive him.

But they had, they didn't have any idea about how effective the liquid would be, and everything that they had said to get him to drink the Mercury was a lie. They had never had any other children, they certainly didn't love him and perhaps cruellest of all, they intended to abandon him after they were sure that the experiment was a success.

After a few minutes when he was still trembling and coughing, Dante insisted that he go to his room for a while, and despite his protests, his parents practically forced him to go. After a while the coughing died down and he began thinking, he wondered what it would be like to be immortal and how he would know when it happened, would he look the same? Would he have to change bodies like his parents? Would it hurt (well he already knew SOME of the answer to that one)? But most of all he thought about how wonderful it was that he finally knew that his parents loved him and wished that they would come to his room and see him. Then after a long day of contemplating all of these things, at about midnight he fell asleep...


	4. Chapter 4: Pain

Then, only a short while later, he woke again, something was wrong! The pain! Everything hurt! He tried to get up, to go call his parents, but he couldn't stand, it hurt too much! He called to his parents, but apparently they couldn't hear him.

After a few hours of this pain, his mother came in and saw him.  
"What's wrong?" She asked, sounding eerily calm.  
"I-it hurts..." He said gasping, finding it difficult to breathe.  
"Hm," she said, still sounding unconcerned, "try drinking this."  
He took it and drank it without looking at what it was. Big mistake!  
"It's... more... Mercury..." He said, gasping.  
"Of course," she said as she was leaving, "it will make you feel better after a few days."  
He didn't think that he could take the pain for that long.

But he could, and would!

After that he managed to get to sleep again, but he woke up soon after.  
"Mum! Dad!" He yelled, frightened now.  
Both eventually came into the room. "What is it?"  
That's strange, he thought, they sound annoyed.  
"I think something has gone wrong..." He said, struggling to speak because of the pain.  
"Why?" They both said in unison, sounding very annoyed.  
"Why does it hurt? It hurts so much!" He said suddenly, crying in pain.

After a few moments of thought his mother produced another bottle of Mercury. But this time William refused.  
"I am not drinking any more of that!" He yelled, suddenly very angry.  
"Please, William..." Hoenheim said.  
"No!" He said weakly but forcefully.  
"Are you sure?" Asked Dante.  
Too weak to say anything more, he just nodded.

With that Dante angrily forced the terrified boy's mouth open and forced him to drink the Mercury, while Hoenheim stopped him from struggling.  
When the bottle was finished, the boy, now with tears starting to form asked them: "Why have you both left me completely alone except to bring me this POISON? If either of you love me, stay with me for at least a little while. Please?"  
With that his parents looked at each other for a second and then left the room, shutting the door as they left.

Then with a look of complete fear and tears streaming down his face, he added: "Why? What have I ever done to deserve this?"  
After a while he deluded himself into believing that they would be back, that they couldn't possibly abandon him to suffer this alone...

But they did.

When he died the next morning on his eighteenth birthday, he died the same way he had always lived, as a frightened, lonely child who desperately needed someone to care for him. The pain wasn't the worse part, despite the agony he was in, all he wanted was for his parents to be with him.

In reality his parents barely noticed he had gone.

Then William awoke; wondering what had happened, he had been in terrible pain for the last few days, but it had stopped and he had never seen this place before. He was in a huge, completely plain, white room; it was so white that it defied logic... He thought for a few minutes before he remembered what had happened, he had died, this was the afterlife.

Suddenly he heard a noise behind him, and he turned around to see what it was. It had been the sound of a door opening, he looked through the doorway and saw a light, the most brilliant and beautiful, yet also calming and warm golden light imaginable and started to walk towards it.

Then, just as he passed through the doorway everything went black, the beautiful light instantly disappeared as though it was no more than a dream. Then a long, shadowy arm reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder, and another, and another, and another! He struggled against them, and did anything he could to get away, but it was no use and he was dragged into the darkness.


	5. Chapter 5: Transmutation

A few hours after he had died Dante and Hoenheim re-entered William's room with more of the horrible poison, expecting for it to be time to give him more. When they saw what had happened they calmly left the room to discuss what was to be done...

The two of them had often thought about the possibility of human transmutation, both of them were curious as to whether they could get it to work when every other known attempt had completely failed. The only thing stopping them was that, until now they had never had anyone to try it on. It was the only reason that they had even bothered to have a child, but as bad as they were at being parents, long before he was born they decided to wait until he had either died of NATURAL causes or he had served some greater purpose. Luckily for them he had done both, well, give credit where it's due, he had proved that Mercury was not the right path to take to eternal life.

They decided that Hoenheim, the slightly more skilled of the two alchemists would perform the transmutation, while Dante watched of course. Later that day, before they had even bothered to make preparations for his body's funeral, his parents gathered the necessary elements, drawn the circle and were ready to begin.

Then, when both were prepared, Hoenheim clapped his hands once and put them to the circle.

Suddenly William was awake again; he had been doing a lot of that lately. What he noticed first was the pain; he was in pain again... Why? He had always thought that the afterlife would be a happy place free from pain and fear, somewhere where he would be loved... Trying to gather his thoughts he looked around, where was he? It was too dark to be the white room or the room with the golden light, but it was too bright, to be the room with the shadows. He recognised this room; it was the basement where his mother and father always did their alchemy...

But how was he here? He had died; why was he back?

"Mother? Father?" He called out; where were they? Surely they wouldn't leave him here to suffer this alone again?  
He tried to move but found that he couldn't, was it because of the pain or because he didn't have any strength? That was part of it, but, no, it was more than that, his arms, his legs; he couldn't discern which parts were meant to be which... What had happened?

Again he called out, this time a cry of pain and sadness! He had died, he was sure of it, he had been at the Gate to the afterlife, he had passed through it... Then he remembered the arms and certain legends about that Gate...

As he tried to focus through the pain, he gathered more information about his surroundings, and eventually he saw his father, then he noticed his mother was sitting with him, outside the circle that William was lying in. Gathering all of his strength and energy, trying to ignore the pain; William reached out to them.  
"Mother? Father?" He cried, unable to support himself, his arm collapsed to the floor again.  
Trying again, he used all of his remaining strength to try and push himself towards them in a crawl. He collapsed again, after a few seconds. Why were they just sitting there? Why were they ignoring him?  
"Please, help me!" His energy was completely gone now, what was he going to do?

That was it, he was helpless, they weren't going to help him and the pain was worse than when he had died the first time! Why? Damn it! Why? Why did they bring him back, only to watch him die again?

At that point his mother stood up, and started walking towards him, Hoenheim had tried to keep her back, but she moved around him.  
"Here, eat these, and stop whining!" she said forcing them into his badly formed mouth.

The things she fed him did not taste like Mercury had, they tasted nice, almost sweet and he felt his energy returning. Not only that but his body seemed to be changing as well, soon he was able to stand up, but by then his parents had left the room.


	6. Chapter 6: Why?

Hoenheim and Dante left the basement where their no-longer-human son had just been reborn.  
Hoenheim turned to her and angrily said: "What was the meaning of that? Why did you feed that THING the Philosopher's stones?"  
"Because he..." She started.  
"You know it didn't work, that THING is not our son!" He said, interrupting her.  
"Do you think I would have wasted those on him if it had been? He is one of the fabled homunculi, we managed to create one!"  
"Well, now that it isn't going to die again, what are we going to do with it?" He asked, still angry.  
Trying to convince him that she was right, she said: "Come on Hoenheim, haven't you ever been the least bit curious about what a homunculus is like? If it is true that they don't feel pain and that they can't die?"  
Suddenly feeling disgusted, he said: "You're not really going to experiment on that thing are you?"  
"Why? Have you grown attached to it?"  
"No!"  
"Then what is the problem?" She asked, ending the conversation.  
He stopped her, before she could leave: "It recognised us!"  
Annoyed now she countered: "You know that according to legend they do not have a soul and by extension, do not have memories."  
"Then how?"  
"The same way that a bird copies you when you speak, that bird is not human, it is merely copying what it has heard, this is the same."  
Still wondering, he asked again: "But can we trust the legends?"  
Sighing she said: "Everything else they have said was correct, why not this? Now if you don't mind we have to bury our son's body."

As they were preparing the body, suddenly Hoenheim said: "Don't forget what the weakness of a homunculus is!" With that he cut a long piece of William's hair off, and put it in a bag. "We might need it to control that thing later."  
Dante made a mental note to later get at least a few more pieces, to make sure that they were safe from their creation.

The next day his body was buried, not one person, not even his parents attended his funeral.

A few days passed as William got used to his new existence, he, for the most part was avoided by his parents, which he tried to convince himself meant that they were giving him time to adapt to his new... Well life wasn't the right word. He had decided that, seeing as he was still alive he might as well stay in his old room, it wasn't like he could stay in the basement forever and his few possessions should still be there.

Three days after his transmutation he decided to ask his parents a few questions; and they were going to give him answers! So he searched for them and eventually found his mother... In the basement, still studying alchemy!  
Trying to keep calm, he said: "Mother."  
Interrupting him, without looking up his mother replied: "No."  
Extremely confused, William asked: "What do you mean?"  
She answered: "You are a homunculus now, you may call both of us master."  
"What?" William asked, considerably angry now.  
Dante answered, angrily now: "You are not our real son; therefore you may not call us your parents."  
Greatly saddened by this, William said: "But I am, I can prove it, my name is William, I'm 18 years old, you are my mother and your name is Dante and Hoenheim is my father."  
Or at least he tried to, his mother cut him off before he could even state his name: "Now, don't be stupid, homunculi don't have souls, and therefore don't have memories. You know that you only look and sound like our son, but you can never really be him, but it's alright homunculus, you can still be useful to us."  
At that statement he left the room, because he remembered how the last favour he did for them turned out.

Next William, hoping for a few, more helpful answers confronted his father: "Father?"  
Upon receiving no reply he tried again: "Dad?"  
Still getting no reply, he called a little louder, he called his father by his first name, something which he had never done before, no matter how angry or upset he had gotten "Hoenheim!"  
But his father still ignored him; finally, having given up on all other names, he decided to try the new name for his parents "Master..." He said sadly.  
With that his father turned to face him and asked: "What is it?"  
"Why have you and mother started treating me like this, what have I done?" William asked sadly.  
His father sighed and said "I thought she explained it to you."  
"I don't understand..."  
"Yes you do," Hoenheim said, interrupting him: "In the last few days, what have you eaten or drunk? Have you slept? We both know the answer is no, there is no use denying it, humans need those things to exist, you clearly aren't human, and imitations can't exist the same way that the real pieces can!"  
"Is that all you think of me as? A piece? A piece of what? Furniture? Rubbish? I am William! Why won't either of you believe me?" Then sadly he added, "Then again, you always thought of me that way, even when I was human."  
"No! We didn't think of YOU that way."  
Seeing a possible way around this logic, William asked: "How would I remember that if I wasn't him?"  
"You are jealous of the life of a human; you hope that he had a miserable life so that you can be a little happier in knowing that you are not the only one we caused to suffer."  
Terrified at the prospect of that William said: "You and Dante, you're not going to..."  
"Not going to what?"  
"Experiment on me again, are you?"  
"No."  
Watching him leave, Hoenheim added silently: "That wasn't you, that was the real William."  
Not knowing this William left a little happier, determined to prove to them that their assumptions about him were wrong.


	7. Chapter 7: Failure and Success

William decided that if they wouldn't believe him, he would have to prove them wrong.

So William gathered together the materials for a transmutation, the small wooden bird that was the first type of alchemy that he had ever attempted, surely they would recognise that. He drew the transmutation circle and pressed his hands to the edges... Nothing happened, he checked the circle and the ingredients; everything was there and how it should have been.

Growing desperate, he tried again.  
"Stupid transmutation!"  
And again.  
"Just work!"  
And again.  
"Please..."

Of course William remembered what he had read about the theories about homunculi losing the ability to perform alchemy, this had all been there but he had to prove them wrong. He had to!

It was at that more than slightly inconvenient time his mother walked into his room and saw him.  
"Are you trying to perform alchemy?" She said, "Don't you remember what I said? Homunculi don't have souls; that means that they can't perform alchemy."  
William had hoped that, that part was as untrue as the rest of the lies they had found in those books.  
Angrily he turned to her and said: "If you need a soul to perform alchemy, doesn't that mean that YOU shouldn't be able to?"  
"Be careful homunculus" said Hoenheim, appearing at the doorway, "We know the weaknesses that can kill you and we will use them if you provoke us!"  
With that both of them left the room while William cleared the transmutation circle and ingredients away, telling himself that he was just stressed from the events of the past few days and that he would try again later.

William had never thought that anyone would envy his human life, now he knew that the one person who ever would, was his current self.

William was furious! First his parents had almost completely abandoned him as a child, they had caused his death, and instead of just burying him and letting him be they brought him back and then complained that he wasn't right! He was beginning to despise them!

As he was focusing on his anger, trying to calm himself down enough to think of a way out of this situation, the same thought kept running through his head... "If only I could run away... If only I could run away... If only I could run away... But how? They would see him, and stop him if he tried."

Suddenly he felt strange, it hurt a little but it mostly just felt really weird, he unintentionally glanced at the mirror and was shocked. Had his hair just had gotten a little darker? Surely he was imagining things; that wasn't possible... Then again, the books his mother and father had about homunculi did say something about them having strange powers, similar to, but outside the realms of alchemy. So he closed his eyes and concentrated, this time willing his hair to turn black, when he opened his eyes a few seconds later, he saw that it had! Now he had a plan!

So he disguised himself as well as he could, trying to make his new body look as different as possible, without looking strange; he now had short, dark hair, light bown eyes and was quite a bit taller. He got outside and into the street and ran as far as he could. There was no stopping him this time, he was going to leave, find a place where he was wanted, or at the very least a place where he wasn't hated.

After so many years of secretly wanting to leave, to be free he finally was... But now where would he go? He hadn't had any friends for years; he tried to avoid children who talked about their oh so wonderful parents, and that meant most of them. He probably could manage just living somewhere away from all of the humans, but that wasn't what he wanted, for his entire life he had just wanted to be normal... Well that was no longer really possible, but he could pretend he was normal, right? It couldn't be that hard to pretend he was a normal human, could it?

It actually turned out to be quite easy, William wandered the town's streets for hours looking at things that he had never really had the chance to experience before. The sight of children playing by the road, of friends sitting together chatting about some trivial topic and of couples out on a walk together and there were many places he could see but he prefered to watch how people interacted.


	8. Chapter 8: Construction

During his days spent in the town he had realised that it took a little concentration to keep the same form all the time, however he could tell when the disguise was starting to slip so it wasn't a problem. He was getting better at keeping it constant too, so that it wouldn't change back at all unless he wanted it to.

William never ended up getting any where to stay, he had only a little money and he didn't really need a house, during the days he walked around the surrounding towns, at night he preferred to walk through the forest surrounding the towns anyway.

During his days, spent wandering around the town William sometimes saw Hoenheim and Dante, it hurt to no longer call them his parents but there was also NO way he would ever call them his masters again. He often wondered what they were doing, they rarely left their mansion when he was alive; they could have been looking for him but if they were then he would make sure that they never found him. Nothing good could come from those two wanting him back; he had managed to convince himself of that. However, without even them as company he was lonely; almost every person he saw was in a pair or a group, those who were not were usually just waiting for someone.

One day, after wandering the streets for almost a week (not needing to sleep apparently had its advantages) he came across a girl who was about his age, both in reality and appearance. She was alone and crying and as he walked closer he recognised her; they had sometimes played together as children, she was one of the few that never boasted about their oh-so-wonderful parents. They had been good friends for almost a month, which for him was a record and although he hated admitting it he cried for days when she no longer wanted to be his friend. He never understood why that happened to so many of his friends; although now being a little older and having experienced its effects first hand, he had a feeling it had something to do with his parents.

He was right, of course. His parents decided that to ensure that he was a valid specimen for any future projects they might have involved him in he needed to be isolated as much as possible from the outside world. This meant, among other things instructing potential friends to stay away from him, and in later years keeping him mostly inside the house.

He stopped next to the girl and awkwardly asked: "Are you alright?"  
"No, just go away…"  
As William started to continue on his way, the girl added: "No, I'm sorry, you can stay if you like."  
He was really very happy, he had finally met someone who might be his friend again, although he was nervous about making sure that she didn't find out that she already knew him.

As they became friends he eventually got himself a small job, in case any outings that required money arose, which they eventually did.

As the weeks went on the two grew closer, but unfortunately for the girl William only ever saw her as a friend. As he had been kept apart from the world for much of his life he didn't exactly understand much about love or how it "worked", she on the other hand was quite experienced in such matters…

One day she asked William to take her on a picnic, and being the good friend that he was, he of course obliged. When he had organised everything, buying her favourite foods and such, they set out. They went to a park that she had often described to William as one of her favourite places, and sat down.

When they had finished, something very… unexpected happened:  
"You know…" she said.  
Smiling he replied "No, what is it?"  
"It's funny now that I look back on it; do you remember the day we met?"  
William nodded, "Yes, my memory is not quite that bad," he said jokingly.  
"Well, I was crying because my boyfriend had broken up with me."  
"Oh," William said, not quite sure how to respond to that "I'm sorry."  
That was funny; he could have sworn that she was sitting on the other side of the blanket before.  
"What I am trying to say is, seeing as we've been friends for so long now, will you be my boyfriend?"  
"Uh…" William said, a little shocked.  
"Good, from now on we're dating!"

Not wanting to hurt her feelings William decided that it would be best to allow it for now, as she probably didn't get too attached to boyfriends.

**Author's Note: **  
**1) First ever A/N (Yay!)**  
**2) Sorry I haven't written for a while, I've been quite busy lately.**  
**3) Yes this chapter has a minor OC, don't worry she isn't a major character (plus to be fair, with this type of FF it was bound to happen eventually).**  
**4) Before anyone asks where all the sad stuff went for this chapter:**  
**-I wanted to have a short break from depressing chapters (I planned this chapter from the beginning).**  
**-Don't worry, the chapters will be back to being depressing very soon.**


	9. Chapter 9: Deconstruction

Over the next few days William started going on "dates" with his new "girlfriend", although he found them pleasant enough, she was becoming far too… friendly for his tastes. But still he was sure that before long she would tire of him and his (currently) boring life and move on. He secretly hoped that this would happen as although she was a great friend, he disliked the idea of giving love or affection too soon or too freely; even before the revelations about his parents he had thought that love was something that could not just be given to anyone, but friendship on the other hand he was much more willing to give immediately.

He had already decided that if it did turn out to be serious later on he would definitely tell her (or another if the occasion arose) the truth about his existence. He felt horrible for lying to her but he was yet to decide if she could be trusted. He had trusted people far too many times and been let down in the most horrible way imaginable, was it such a crime that he wanted to wait until they knew each other a little better first?

On this day they (well, in reality she) decided that they would go shopping in town. As they walked through the main street towards their chosen destination they were holding hands; something that she insisted that they do, now that they were more than just friends. William found this rather annoying but he was still determined to allow her to be happy, he hated the thought of treating anyone unkindly; he knew too well how that felt and the sadness that it could bring others.

Suddenly she turned to William and said: "You know, we've been dating for ages and you haven't kissed me once! Don't you love me?"  
Too surprised to give an answer William stood staring for a moment… then she kissed him.  
It was at this moment that William realised that, when his concentration was broken or possibly when he was shocked or embarrassed, he could lose control of his assumed form. Unfortunately, several others in the surrounding area noticed this as well.  
The girl suddenly shrieked: "Monster! He's a monster! Uh, get away from me you creep! Help, monster!"

William ran but with that many people chasing him and no real way to escape other than to transform and risk revealing his new, "true" nature to more people he had no chance.  
When he had been cornered, one of the men leading the group spoke up: "Monster, you have no place here. What are your intentions?"  
William, quite scared of the group surrounding him, although determined not to show it spoke up: "I am here in peace, all I want to do is…"  
"PEACE!" Spat the man, who appeared to have been elected the impromptu leader, "You attacked an innocent girl!"  
"But I didn't, we were..."  
Another shouted over the top of William's voice: "She lies dead in the street by your hands!"  
William's eyes widened "S-she, what?"  
"When you pushed her away in your haste to escape from us, she fell and broke her neck!"  
William fell to his knees, "I-I ki… no it was an accident… I didn't mean… she… she…" but he knew in his heart what this meant; he had become like his parents, no, worse he had become a real monster.

William did not resist when they grabbed him, nor when they chained him and pulled him through the streets to the prison, and he doubted that he would have the strength to fight against the charges he knew he would face in a few days time.


	10. Chapter 10: Deep in Thought

_"No! I couldn't have! Why? After I worked so hard, I was finally living how I had always wanted… I had a friend and I was happy! Why did I have to ruin everything? Why am I such a monster?"_

They pulled William inside his chosen prison cell and chained him against the wall and he still made no attempts to break free.

_"If only I had been honest… If only she had known she wouldn't have reacted that way. What have I done?"_

He didn't react as the guards left, locking the huge door behind them. After a few hours, William managed to calm himself down enough to think more clearly.

_"Her family must be devastated right now, if only… No, this is a good thing, at least this way I can be certain I will never be able to do it to anyone else again!"_

This went on for days. At one point he was he tried something he hadn't done since he became a homunculus; he tried to fall asleep because he was so desperate to get away from the guilt, even for a short time. He eventually discovered that, although they had no need for sleep it was indeed possible; but he soon regretted it…

Suddenly his girlfriend was standing before him.  
Stunned, he spoke to her: "What are you doing in here? I thought…"  
"You thought what?"  
Realising that it really was her, he felt a small hope that maybe everything wasn't as bad as it had seemed. "I thought that you had died."  
"Why would you think that?"  
"Because… How did you get in here?"  
"Through the door, how else would I have gotten in?" Moving closer to him she added, "Now what's the matter?"  
"They, the people said I… you had died."  
Taking his hand, she looked into his eyes, "How?"  
Looking away from her, ashamed, he whispered: "They said that it was my fault, that I killed you."  
"Hm… Well I'm here aren't I?"  
"I sorry."  
Turning so that they were facing each other again, "Are you really?"  
"Yes, I'm so sorry for everything. For the lies… for not being the person that you wanted me to be…"  
Suddenly turning angry she yelled: "FOR KILLING ME?"  
With that William awoke, after that he was left in a greater despair than before. He didn't try to sleep again.

_"I wonder how long it has been… five, maybe six days I think. I wonder why they are taking so long; so many people saw that I doubt they are having trouble finding witnesses… They're probably busy trying to find a suitable punishment." _He sighed sadly, _"Well whatever they decide I deserve it, and more."_

Early the next morning something told William that there were a few more guards than usual standing outside the door. He had noticed that there were usually about four or five guards outside, but at the moment there seemed to be about ten. Something (probably commonsense) told him that one way or another the humans probably wanted to see him now.

Five of the guards entered the cell.  
"Get up monster!" William recognised the man as being one of the men at the front of the group when he was captured. If they were in different circumstances William probably would have admired him, it would have taken either took a great amount of courage or stupidity to speak like that to a monster. In truth it was the latter, not that William knew or particularly cared at that moment.

Mounting no resistance he allowed the humans to lead him outside. As they were walking, for the first time William truly wondered where they were going. Were they going to execute him in public for everyone to see or would they have pity on him and do it somewhere quietly? No, if they were going to do it privately they would have done it in the jail; as much as he hated himself for what he did he felt ill at the thought of being executed in front of a crowd. William briefly considered resisting, before remembering that he really had no right to complain and continued to let himself be lead along.

To his surprise though they stopped outside the courthouse, so they were going to put him on trial? Why? Everyone in the town and probably a good part of the surrounding area would know that he was guilty by now and it wasn't like he would be able to defend himself, even if he had wanted to. Anyone of average intelligence KNEW how it would turn out.


	11. Chapter 11: The Trial of Trials

As they brought him inside to face his fate, he went to his place peacefully. Many of the people there were astonished, seeing such a monster so calm and not even trying to escape. In their minds this just made him seem more inhuman.

Most of the trial was a blur to William, he couldn't stand to hear all of the "evidence" that the humans brought against him. Some of the things they accused him of were so horrific that he could scarcely bring himself to listen to, let alone actually DO.

Finally, they called the final witness; if William had still been human he was certain that he would have fainted. It was HER, the girl he had killed, but how? As she approached him he paled and backed away while she glared at him.

"No… No… no, no, no, no, no… It's not possible… How?"

"How am I alive? It's quite simple; you're not particularly bright are you? Although you did hurt me in your pathetic escape attempt I received only minor injuries."  
"I'm so sorry, for everything… please…"  
"Forgiveness is something that I reserve for humans; you disgust me MONSTER!" With that she turned away and took her place to give evidence.

She was being questioned by the judge: "I believe that you spent much time with the creature."  
"Yes, I spent weeks with this monster in human form."  
"And why do you think that he would spend that time with you"  
"I believe that he was planning to use me in one of his many undoubtedly monstrous plans."  
"Did he ever mention any of these plans to you?"  
"No, I believe that he was brainwashing me. You have no idea how frightened I am that I might turn out to be just like him. A MONSTER!"

William couldn't stand it anymore:  
"That's a lie! I would never harm anyone. It was never my intention to brainwash or deceive anyone. All I wanted was to live among humans, like a human."

The judge was speaking again: "If you have peaceful intentions then why do you bear such a striking resemblance to a young man of our town who recently died under suspicious circumstances."  
"You saw me so infrequently back then; I doubted that you'd recognise me."  
"You were always a monster!" Shrieked several of those in attendance.  
"No I was born a human, but…"  
"But, what?"  
"I… can't say."

William couldn't continue, as much as he despised them for their past actions he couldn't get them involved… As much as he wanted to he couldn't defend himself that way. What if there was someone else stupid enough to try what his parents had tried. There could easily be another idiot in the room; he wouldn't subject another to the pain of his existence.

"Excuse me" it was the man who had been the leader of those who had captured him, "but his past existence is not really of importance."  
"How so? If he truly was human then we should hear his story. Maybe he isn't a complete monster… yet."  
"Consider this, when we told him that the girl had died he did not once question that statement in the 10 days he was held prior to today."  
"Have you considered," said William "that I didn't have the capacity to question it as it shocked me, that I had accidentally harmed someone I considered a friend?"  
Then his 'girlfriend' spoke up again: "Only a creature who was certain that it was possible for them to kill in such a manner would have acted in such a way."

William had to admit that was true, if he was certain of his humanity he would have questioned it. The small glimmer of hope that William had felt, about the trial and more importantly about still resembling anything vaguely human was gone.

"Do you have anything else to say, monster?"  
William, only just barely managed to reply "No, I don't."  
"Then, monster you have been convicted of attempted murder and sorcery."

_Hah, we live in a world where human transmutation is possible and they go with sorcery._

"On this day next week you will be executed, to atone for your sins."

He was going to die? Again? And there was no question that it would be public, looking around he noticed just how many people were at his trial and he felt horribly sick realising most, if not all would be there for his execution as well. He wanted to beg for mercy, surely if he did they would at least allow it to be private, surely he could be allowed that mercy for something he had no control over and something that he hadn't intended to do. No, he doubted that they would listen, he had tried to explain everything to those idiots but they hadn't listened, it seemed that many humans suffered from that affliction.

_Whatever happens, please let the alchemy books be wrong about our immortality._

And with that William was once again led to his cell.

**Author's Note:**  
Usually I try not to put A/Ns in my fanfics as I feel that it can annoy readers, however I feel that due to my horrible timing with this chapter apologies are in order: I'm sorry that it took so long to update, I really have no excuse to offer other than that I have had writers block. In other words I knew what was going to happen in this chapter and how I wanted it to happen, but I had difficulty putting it into words, a poor excuse I know but the truth. I made the chapter longer than usual to make up for it, so thank you for (hopefully) understanding and I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will continue to enjoy future ones. Also, yes I am aware that this is not how real world trials work; the funny thing is this isn't our world so it works any way that I say it does (also, historically trials were different anyway).


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